TOM’S BIO

    Born at the highest peak of the Rocky Mountains in Colorado, and secluded from all of society. The only human interaction he had as a child was a small twelve inch television with rabbit ears. Here, Tom watched tirelessly, sports twenty-three hours a day. He received one hour of play time each day which consisted of him devising football, baseball, hockey and basketball plays. Tom once designed the most aerodynamic race car out of pure rock. He would make tennis rackets and golf clubs from tree branches and sometimes he even designed professional wrestling moves. His parents fed him only protein bars and Gatorade. At the end of everyday, his parents took turns quizzing him endlessly on various sports topics. His mind became a virtual database of sports knowledge.

When Tom Bennett reached the age of eighteen, he was instructed to go out into the world and share his learning’s with all those who did not possess any sports understanding. Before he left on his journey, he took a vow to seek sports justice one way or another.

RUSS’S BIO

NICK’S BIO

    Nick’s origins are unknown.  Buddhist monks found him wondering the cold frigid weather deep in the Himalayan Mountains with just a pair of underwear on.  He did not posses much knowledge but when he picked up an old oval looking ball he threw it a quarter of a mile.  The monks then realized he possessed great skill and must keep it from falling into the hands of the evil lord Al Davison.   They then adopted him and began instructing him in the secret art of the spread offense and the lost teachings of running the option.  As Nick grew older the Monks began to open his world to other sports and showing him the great teachings of the great Michael Jordan and Wayne Gretzky.  By the time the monks had guessed he was 18 years old he had surpassed them in both physical and mental skill of most major sports.  They had set him free to share to the world his knowledge.  But, word had got to him some years back that the evil lord Al Davison had sacked and murdered all the monks that had raised him.  Nick then took a vow of silence until he took revenge on the evil lord on the grid iron.

Born in a small mining community in Northern Alberta, Russ lived with the lower classes of society digging tunnels for rich silver and gold prospectors.  After being disillusioned by the greed of humans, Russ left and lived with wolves for six months until he stumbled across the Blackfoot Indians of British Columbia.  They invited Russ to stay and taught him many tribal traditions and eventually sent him on a vision quest.  Russ left with nothing but the skin on his back for seven nights.  While on this quest, Russ saw a vision of a figure that we now know today as “Mike Ditka.”  Ditka spoke to Russ for seven days and seven nights teaching him the ways of football.  He even quizzed Russ to test his knowledge and gave him his spirit name to bring back to the Blackfoot Indians.  He said, “Russ, you shall be known as Pig Skin.”  Upon returning, Russ explained what he saw and learned on his vision quest.  The chief knew what was happening.  He explained to Russ and the rest of the tribe the “Legend of Ditka.”—One day a man with ghostly skin would be welcomed into their tribe and would be treated as if he were one of their own.  Eventually he would be sent on a vision quest where Mike Ditka would appear to him and teach him the ways of football.  The chief decided it was time to plug Russ into the social pipeline by sending him to live with his cousin Big Paw in Edmonton.  Big Paw, also known as Warren Moon, was the quarterback for the Edmonton Eskimos.  Once there, Moon knew that Russ was the “Chosen One” and saw the vast knowledge that was passed down to him from Ditka.  Moon sent Russ to Denver Colorado to help start the most unique sports website ever— Dorkjocks.com. 

In 1966 Russ Robitaille, Bryan Doyle and Tom Bennett guest starred in Star Trek: season 1episode 10, “The Corbomite Maneuver.”

The Dorkjocks end it for Hitler.  Once he finds out they are near Berlin, he loses it.